Fearless

Don't you just love God's perfect timing? I spent this past weekend in Hilton Head at the Westin Resort and Spa (it was sooooo nice and I think I may be in love with the smell of the little lotions they leave in the bathroom! I may or may not have tried to swipe extras from carts I saw in the hallway...)

Going into the St. Andrews Women's retreat, I had a lot of expectations. I mean, how can you not when everyone who has been before tells you how awesome it is? I was incredibly blessed by these 300+ awesome women of God. I wanted to go last year to the retreat, but I didn't really know anyone and hadn't really found my niche (I know, I should've gone to meet people, but that's just not how I do things). This past year God has blessed me with the most incredible friends from City Church as well as an awesome small group (pretty sure they don't know how much I really love them!) I finally feel like I belong and I can really call this church my family.

The theme of the weekend was "Fearless" (I'm not gonna lie, I was kinda hoping Taylor Swift was gonna show up, maybe lead a little worship?!) I had actually forgotten about this and didn't really think much about it when I registered. During the week leading up to this weekend, I had had a really hard time grasping what was holding me back from picking up the phone to make appointments to finish raising the last 25% of my financial support. It dawned on me, that I am so afraid. I'm afraid of what people on the other end of the line will think. Heck, I'm afraid of what people think of me in general. I'm afraid they'll reject me (I have had people hang up on me and some to be very rude). I'm afraid they won't understand and won't want to listen. I fear man. Who knew?

When I arrived at the Westin on Friday, I was overwhelmed by the sea of estrogen. I had no idea so many women were going to be there! The speaker, Cindy, was fabulous. When she began talking about the origin of fear, I remembered what the weekend was going to be about. Being fearless women of God. I had a big DUH! moment. Then I laughed with God, because I had just realized that I'm full of fear that very week and now I was at this retreat talking about how to be fearless. God's timing is so perfect. Love it!

Every word that Cindy spoke was exactly what I needed to hear, in that very moment. Being fearless is having fears (we are human) but not being afraid to face them in the power of the Holy Spirit. We must be transformed from the inside, out in order to be fearless. Fearlessness is a byproduct of transformation.

Have you ever heard of Cardboard Testimonies? Well, if you haven't, it's pretty powerful stuff. We had the opportunity to write out our biggest fear on a piece of cardboard, stand in front of everyone and share, and place them at the foot of the cross, leaving that fear there. It was overwhelming how many I could identify with: rejection, being alone, not getting "it" right, not being good enough, what other people think of me, wasting my life, etc. It was a definite highlight of the weekend.

We didn't talk about this, but the Lord kept bringing Isaiah 43 to my mind the whole weekend. I've read this passage countless number of times, but it became so real, like it was written just for me. "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Read it. It's good stuff. I have nothing to fear because God is on my side. He is for me. I am His.

There is no reason I can't finish raising my support this semester to do the work the Lord has called me to do. To be a missionary with Campus Crusade. I have nothing to fear. I am inferior to no one.

My prayer is that I will be fearless. I will radically live out my faith. I will trust the Lord. I will surrender my fears to Him. I will allow God to clothe me with power from on High. Nothing is impossible for my Lord Jesus.